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My Longest Year

by Neal Meyer

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1.
Tomorrow feels like it's years away. And It's just long blank stares and grinding gears between now and then. And all this to stay slightly ahead. And it's just gas station food to get me through. All I have to look forward to. Cause there are hours that need counted. There are time clocks that need punching. Just this once I'd love to dictate the conversation between what I want and what's gonna happen. I've been sewn up, I've been sold short. This state I'm in is wearing thin, what I am and what I've been. And my time's all gone, my time's not mine. Monotony's gotten to me, same thing played out repeatedly. Cause there are hours that need counted. There are time clocks that need punching. Just this once I'd love to dictate the conversation between what I want and what's gonna happen. And these, these are my prospects. Being broke, tired, and disappointed.
2.
I don't get scared. I just get comfortable. Decisions they get hard, then they don't come at all. Left to my own devices I don't know how anything gets done, anything at all. It's not like I have a year to waste. It's not like I have a year to waste. I don't have plans, I just have lists of thoughts. Things I'd like to try but no idea how to start. My words are lite and my body's made of stone. I don't sleep at night. I just stare through the wall. It's not like I have a year to waste. It's not like I have a year to waste. If i'm just being honest, I always feel lost. I have no adventure, no crusade. No Rubicon to cross.
3.
No news isn't good news. Doubt sets in and I can't shake it loose. I don't dream. I can't rest easy. Ghosts it seem only keep me company. Hey there, desperate love. Just tell me when you're gonna come back home. It could be just a matter of distance. But it's probably just a matter of time. Like I'm waiting for an ax to fall on the on there side of the back door. Hey there, desperate love. Just tell me when you're gonna come back home. I just want to get my claws in you. I just want to get my claws in you. Inside of you. Inside of you. Hey there, desperate love. Just tell me when you're gonna come back home.
4.
I'm not a machine. I don't burn coal, no. I don't run on steam. I feel like I wish I could. I can't keep up this pace even if i wanted to. Coal driven man, I'm no coal driven man. My hands aren't made of steel. I've worked them down to nothing and I've watched them bleed and peel. I don't move on a rail. I just have these two feet and I know that they will fail. Coal driven man, I'm no coal driven man. I know I can't be born again. I can't forge a new body out of tin. I know that burning coal's not sound but the way I'm living my just put me in the ground. Coal driven man. I'm no coal driven man.
5.
My laziness turned me into a liar. My word these days ain't worth a thing. Long list of actions will never transpire. More disappoint waiting in the wings. And if you need me I'm not going anywhere. December has never felt like an obstacle that I can't clear. A final reminder. A nail in my longest year. A nail in my longest year. I don't blame you if you don't believe me. I'm out of credit and I'm out of ideas. Cemetery filled with good intentions. Red green flashing lights keep me right here. And if you need me I'm not going anywhere. December has never felt like an obstacle that I can't clear. A final reminder. A nail in my longest year. A nail in my longest year.

about

Bedroom recorded release of songs written through the fall/early winter of '13.

All songs recorded using a cell phone.

For fans of: 50+ hour work weeks, ever mounting debt, and not knowing what to do.

credits

released January 7, 2014

All songs written, performed, and recorded by Neal Meyer.
He also took the photo.

Thanks go to Alaina Nace-Meyer, Opal Nace-Meyer, Anthony Elliott, Ryan Briles, Derek Briles, Josh Johnson, Greg Simpson.

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Neal Meyer Bloomington, Indiana

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